Staying Happy & Hopeful During Infertility Sadness

It's been a while since my last post on infertility. Resolve, a national infertility association, now says that one in every eight U.S. couples has trouble conceiving. That's a lot of couples. We aren't alone, people!

Yesterday was a hard day for me. Actually, let me rephrase that, last night was a hard night for me. The day was fine. I actually had a great day yesterday. But last night...yikes.

Last night I realized something about my infertility issues; they make me sad. I am fully aware that makes me sound like a kindergartener, but this was an important realization for me. Infertility doesn't make me angry, depressed, or bitter. It doesn't make me broken or less of a woman. It makes me sad. And sometimes, it's ok to be sad.

I recently saw this description of infertility on Pinterest:

 "It's not the kind of sadness to where you cry all the time, but more of like the sadness that overwhelms your entire body, leaving your heart aching and your stomach empty." 

Amen, sister! This is probably one of the best explanations I've heard. I have happy, happy days; the kind of days that leave your cheek muscles begging for mercy. But that sadness is still there. It's constantly in the back of your mind. And it can be SO easy to fall into that sadness.

I'm a happy person. I know that there is a plan for my life. I know that I have a loving Heavenly Father who is aware of my situation. I know that He knows how much infertility sucks, and not just because I've told Him countless times. I know I have a lot to be grateful for. I have hope for the future.

I fully believe that learning to stay positive and hopeful through our sadness is the best way to get through it.

For anyone else who might be struggling, here are five coping methods have that helped me stay happy and hopeful:

-Join a support group. Infertility issues can make you feel very alone. Sometimes it's hard to talk to people when you don't feel like they can relate with where you are coming from. Support groups offer a great place to express yourself and meet others facing similar challenges.

-Educate yourself. There are so many options for dealing with infertility! Take time to get to know what is out there. Getting educated will help you decide what the best path is for you and your family. You can't take further steps until you know what steps there are to take.

-Discover a new hobby. Good days and bad days exist. But the bad days are significantly less when you don't have time to focus them. Sign up for a class. Start a garden. Volunteer. Learn a new skill. This world is a beautiful place. Your fertility status doesn't change that fact. Go explore something new!

-Stop comparing yourself. Oh, this is a big one! I've quit Facebook countless times because I struggle with this. Nothing makes me feel sadder than when I compare myself to others. And let me tell you, my friends pop out babies like they are Otter Pops from a freezer on a hot summer day. I kid you not. But, we each live our own lives. We are all on different paths. Happiness comes when we focus on our own path. That's the only thing that really matters.

-Remember that obstacles in life are sometimes mere challenges. I think we should get rid of the word "never". Just because we're struggling now, doesn't mean we'll never get pregnant. It's a safe bet to say that we all know people who have overcome fertility struggles. Obstacles don't mean give up; obstacles mean it's time to start climbing.

What methods have you found to help cope with infertility struggles? Is there any advice you would share with other's experiencing the same difficulties?